The BDSM Checklist You Didn’t Know You Needed
Let’s make one thing clear:
I don’t play without structure.
I don’t dominate blindly.
I don’t “surprise” my submissives.
And I certainly don’t assume consent based on kink hashtags and enthusiasm.
Real BDSM whether physical, psychological, or financial, starts with one thing:
Negotiation.
Before I take control of your body, your mind, or your wallet, I take stock of what’s allowed, what’s wanted, and what’s absolutely off-limits.
That’s where the BDSM checklist comes in.
Not just a formality but a roadmap. A shared language. A ritual of responsibility that makes everything else hotter, safer, and deeper.
Let me walk you through the checklist you should be filling out, whether you’re brand new or you've been kneeling for years.
1. Limits — The Non-Negotiables
You need to know your:
Hard Limits (absolutely never, under any circumstances)
Soft Limits (maybe with trust or in the right dynamic)
Curious Limits (open to exploring, but need to start slow)
This tells me where to press and where to pause.
You don’t impress me by saying “no limits.” That only tells me you haven’t done the work.
2. Experience Level
Check in with:
Are you new to submission, or well-trained?
Have you served online, in-person, or both?
Do you know your triggers? Do you understand sub drop?
This helps me tailor your training.
I don’t handle a newbie the same way I handle a full-time findom addict with a credit card on auto-drain.
And yes, I will ask.
3. Kink Preferences
Here’s where you list everything from “love it” to “absolutely not” across areas like:
Impact play (spanking, slapping, paddling)
Sensory play (wax, temperature, deprivation)
Mental play (humiliation, degradation, psychological control)
Service (domestic tasks, ritual submission, scheduling)
Financial domination (tribute, blackmail, findom contracts)
Worship (feet, heels, lingerie, verbal praise, photos)
Yes, even within Findom I want to know what you feel when you pay. That helps me manipulate it beautifully.
4. Communication Tools & Safewords
My favourite question:
Do you actually know how to use a safeword?
You should have one.
We should agree on one.
And if we're doing non-verbal play, you should know how to tap out, use gestures, or share a safe emoji.
Safe doesn’t mean boring.
It means I’m in complete control and that includes your well-being.
5. Aftercare Needs
What do you need post-scene?
Silence? Praise? Reassurance? Structure? Space?
Submission is a high. And aftercare is how we land it without crashing.
I don’t throw you around and walk away.
I dominate responsibly. That means *I know your emotional responses as well as your kinks.
6. Boundaries Around Financial Play
Since I specialise in findom, this section matters:
Are you comfortable with auto-renewal subscription payments?
What are your tribute limits (daily, weekly, monthly)?
Do you want budgeting structures imposed?
Do you get turned on by being drained, or do you serve in routine?
I use this to determine your financial discipline protocol.
Yes, that’s a thing. And yes, I enjoy enforcing it.
7. Privacy & Discretion
Always relevant:
Do you need to be anonymous?
Can I contact you via specific platforms?
Are you out to your partner/friends about your kinks?
You can’t submit fully if you’re afraid of being exposed.
And I don’t use fear as a tactic, I use control.
8. Goals
This is rarely asked… but I do:
Why are you here?
Do you want a one-time session? A training arc? Full-time ownership?
What does your ideal submission to me look like?
If you don’t know, that’s okay.
But I’ll make you think about it.
Because intention + control = a dynamic that lasts.
So, why does this matter?
Because BDSM without a checklist is like giving someone your house keys without telling them which doors are locked.
I don’t dominate blindly. I dominate with precision.
And that’s what makes my power addictive.
So before you beg to serve me—think about this checklist.
Literally, or mentally. Know your place. Know your limits. Know what you're surrendering.
Because once I have the map,
I’ll take you exactly where you’re meant to go.