Weekly Princess Prosperity Report: Week 1

This week was peak princess energy. Agent Provocateur and Victoria’s Secret sends & GCs surged like I’m privately listed on a lingerie stock exchange. Lace is up, discipline is up, and your bank balance… entered a gentle recession.

Footwear Futures:

Billini woven summer heels landed, marking the third consecutive investment from the same devoted shareholder. That isn’t gifting,,, that’s long-term portfolio commitment, strategic prioritisation, and steady upward devotion trends.

High-Value Asset Milestone:

My sweet Sid officially crossed the 5k club threshold. Market analysts (me) projected this outcome early. Ambition performs beautifully when it’s directed at pleasing me. Congratulate my sweet boy on consistent growth and exceptional performance.

Unusual Market Activity:

A footboy arrived in fluffy pyjamas, presenting strong Labubu energy. Picture a plush-coded grown man kneeling at market open. Absurd, loyal, and absolutely bullish on worship.

Wellness & Recovery Index:

A spa day pass was successfully acquired, alongside soup and iced coffee flows, supporting my veneer-recovery soft-life initiative. Princess healing stays fully funded. Pain? Minimal at times Spoiling? Maximal always.

Outlook For The Coming Week:

New week, new worship, continued proof that chivalry isn’t dead! It simply operates via direct deposit.

Act with intention.

Serve with devotion.

Maintain your value or be delisted.

Forecast: increased designer heels expected. Shoe tributes encouraged to keep the portfolio diverse and the princess pleased.